To my BEAUTIFUL slant-eyed siblings...

It has taken me very long to be able to work up the nerve to type this. Most of the time I would sit at my laptop and stare at the screen, expecting everything to come out easily and I wouldn't give it a second thought. But this topic is never easy for anyone to talk about. It keeps me up late at night, making it hard to shut down my brain and fall asleep. This may not come easily, but you are so, so worth it.

I love you. Even though you may not believe me at times, I always have and I always will. I wasn't around for the beginning of your lives, I didn't hold you in my arms while you were a baby or get to visit you in the hospital after you were born. But the moment I laid eyes of you, physically or just in pictures, I would have fought to the death for you. You were meant to be my siblings, and even though we aren't blood related, nothing will ever ever ever be able to rip you from my heart.

Here is where I am going with this. Everyone is different, no one is exactly like someone else. That being said, we are all beautiful in our own way. You guys are beautiful, just like everyone else. But, and yes, I am about to break the ice, you don't look like us. You are Chinese, we are American with different family backgrounds. Your skin is darker than ours sometimes, your noses are more flat, and your beautiful eyes are slanted. Like I said before, you are beautiful in your own way. There could never be a more beautiful you, it is simply impossible. Your skin can give you a really nice tan, which you may or may not like :), your noses are more easy to be kissed when they are flatter, and I absolutely love when your eyeballs disappear when you laugh!!!

But listen to me. Like I said, I would fight to the death for you, as I would for Chloe also. It's because I love you. So when I hear people say... awful, terrible things about you or your race, it takes a host of angles to keep me from exploding all over them. Seriously. They don't know you. They don't understand. They make fun of you to be cool, which is STUPID in caps lock.

Without giving away any information, you each have your own medical circumstances. Oh, the things people say because they don't understand! People at my school... The nasty things they say... This is how mad I am right now, my hands are shaking as I try to type. The things all kinds of people say, the looks you may get sometimes... This is all enough to put me over the edge. I have lost count of the nights I will cry myself to sleep knowing that I can't save you from the cruel world we live in. Knowing that I can't protect you, knowing I can't fight every battle for you. Some you just have no choice but to fight on your own.

This is what I am getting at: You are brave. You are strong. You are a VanderMeer. You have the God of the whole universe on your side. You are going to grow up and have one of the best testimonies and inspire all kinds of people. You already have. I know I can't shield you from everything, but I want you to know that you will always have someone fighting for you. No matter what the worlds says. You have me, but you also have God. I am human, sometimes I may fail, but God can't fail. He will never leave you or forsake you. That's a promise. Go and be the things the world needs. You have it... I see it every time I look into your beautiful slanted eyes.

I love you to infinity and beyond!

Love,

Jai Jai Abby