How we can Fundraise and go on Vacation?

There have been many blogs that I have written that have been hard to write, trying to type just the right thing without stepping on toes.  This is not one of them.

The VanderMeer's are going on vacation!!! The last real vacation we have been on was in 2012, so this trip is long overdue.  We will be sitting on the beach soaking up some sun, probably visiting some touristy shops, eating out occasionally and decompressing and we are soooooo looking forward to it.

We don't do it without understanding the paradox.  How can we go on vacation when we are trying to raise money to bring our kids home from China.  Shouldn't that money be spent towards your adoption instead of asking other people to support you?

Let me recap what has happened since out last vacation.  In 2013 we went to China to bring home Chase.  While you see the pictures on Facebook constantly of happy Chase, what you don't see are the hours, days, weeks, months of intentional parenting, dealing with attachment issues, emotional breakdowns, and outright defiance while he tries to find the boundaries.  We love him dearly and would do anything for him, but it is exhausting.  And that is just Chase.

We have done all we can with the girls to make sure they are getting what they need from us always too.  While Chase has caused us to exert a lot of our energy, the girls have been champions in dealing with it.  They understood going into adoption that is wasn't always going to be easy and they have been great at helping and loving and are the best big sisters that I could have imagined Chase having. They have been great examples of grace to us, but we know deep in our hearts that they have sacrificed more than they should have.

Yet despite some of the trials our last adoption brought we would do it all over again.  And we are!  This summer hope to travel to bring home our two newest VanderMeer's from China.  This time we do not do it through the eyes on naive adoptive parents, but knowing full well the struggles we are going to face.  The battles will be daily for a while as we adjust to a family of 7.  We understand that Chase may struggle to understand his place in the family and that we will not be able to lose focus on the foundation that we have built with him.  The girls understand that we will be going back into post adoption mode and we know that while they will perform beautifully that sacrifices will need to be made.

So with all that being said, we are going on vacation.  To us this is not just an escape from regular life for a while, it is a chance to unwind and reconnect as a family and get ready for the times coming up that will NOT be decompressed but that will be difficult.  This is exactly what is needed for our family, we set the money aside from personal funds after our tax return, not from any money raised for the adoption.  We have done a good job of finding ways to enjoy ourselves without breaking the bank, and we are going ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

So you didn't really address the fact that you are fundraising at the same time... don't you feel we need an explanation if you are going to ask us to give to your adoption?  NOPE.

The truth is that most people that have donated to us or that will donate to us either understand the struggles we have gone through and will go through again.  They understand that a vacation right now is exactly what is needed and they won't judge us.  They will likely encourage us.  The people that choose to sit back and judge our decisions are not supporting us anyway.  So I'm not worried about them.

On a last note I wanted to add after reading through this that we are excited about our upcoming adoption.  I don't want anyone thinking that we are not.  We are excited that we are becoming a family of 7, we are excited that we are done with our dossier and that it is in the hands of the Chinese government.  We are excited about picking up our kids and showing them the love of a family.  But because we have done this before we know what to expect.  We are excited to move to the next step but we knew it was coming.

Right now we are most excited about going on vacation, decompressing, reconnecting and spending time together, and hopefully seeing some dolphins.