F-E-A-R

Fear. 

Definition: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

To me, fear is more than just an emotion. It is a mountain. It is a challenge. It is a ten-foot brick wall blocking you from where you are trying to go. It is blinding. It is shadowing. It's building a wall around you and it's not letting you out, forcing you to believe only in what you can see. You refuse to see anything else or listen to anything else other than what the big black box you are stuck in is telling you. You are utterly, utterly, lost in despair and confusion. 

Fear is that little voice in the back of your mind saying, "You can't do this. You're to afraid." 

So you don't. 

I am afraid of a lot of things. Heights, speaking in front of a lot of people, etc. But I am also afraid of other things, things that don't necessarily make me feel sick to my stomach. I am afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone, and doing things I don't normally do. I am afraid that my new sibling(s) won't like me, and afraid of what this adoption could do to my family. I am also afraid that kids at my school will think I'm crazy or weird because my siblings are from another country. 

What are we doing? What happened to I can do all things through Him who gives me strength? Did God not say that he would protect us? 

"Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand." -Isaiah 41:10. He wasn't kidding, people. "For I the Lord your God will hold your right hand saying unto you, fear not; I will help you." -Isaiah 43:13. He will help us. He is always with us. He never leaves. So why are we afraid? 

In my heart I am afraid that the people reading this won't like it. And I am here to tell you that it is because you are trapped inside that big black box of fear. "You can't do this. You're to afraid." .

Yes, yes you can. You are never alone. 

And for that reason, you should never. be. afraid. 

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." -Psalm 56:3. 

The Story of Jonah

I may have found our son. 

That was the text I sent Amanda (complete with picture) of a little boy named Jonah on an advocacy group I was a part of. 

Jonah was with a different agency at the time so I called them before I texted Amanda just to make sure they would be willing to transfer his file if we were interested.  After discussing it briefly we decided to request his file.

The agency he was with sent us his file and asked us to let them know if we were interested in moving forward.  They just wanted to check with a couple families that had been considering his file to make sure there families weren't interested before transferring.

Transferring a file can be a little tricky,  They don't actually transfer a file from one agency to another, but the file is transferred back to the CCCWA and then over to the new agency. 

We decided to move forward with requesting the transfer and in our hearts had accepted him as our son.  The agency that had his file said that they would try to find out by Monday if there were any interested families.  After not hearing anything Monday, I emailed them Tuesday to ask for an update, really just a friendly reminder.  What I got was unexpected.

Jonah was gone.  Sometime Monday night CCCWA had taken Jonah's file back and a completely different agency had grabbed it.  

It took us a few hours to find out which agency picked it up, We knew that agencies won't transfer a new file that they just received but we had to try.  We contacted our agency who was waiting for his file to become available and let them know what happened.  They were going to check into it but they didn't seem optimistic.    

Our hearts were breaking.  It is so hard to take ownership of a child in your heart and then let them go.  We had to go through that on our adoption with Chase and it is hard.  

I posted a brief summary of what happened in the advocacy group because a number of them at this point were following our story.  I asked them to pray for us and to recommend any other kids that fit what we were open to.

We had prayed together Thursday night that the Lord would bless this boy and find the right family for him.  We prayed that the child that He intended us to have would be safe and that He would open our hearts to another child just like he did Jonah's.

If you know the biblical story of Jonah you can help but see the similarities.  Jonah was called to go to Nineveh and prophesy, but instead of going where he was supposed to he jumped on a ship and headed a completely different direction.  He ended up being tossed overboard on the ship and being swallowed by a great fish.  He spent three days in the fish.  Was spit up on land and then finally went to go where he was meant to go all along.

It wasn't until Friday that we got the news. The agency that had Jonah's file had decided to transfer it to our agency.  This with them having the file for less than a week.  Something that simply DOES NOT HAPPEN.

It is only by the grace of God that we will get to call this boy our son.  But the Lord has made it clear to us that this is our son.  No matter what happens we can never doubt this.  And we are eternally grateful.

Giving out FREE MONEY for my Birthday

Today is my Birthday.  I like to celebrate my birthday every year.  I start sometime in August with subtle hints that my birthday is coming, towards the end on September I start the pre-celebration of my birthday month.  On October first I share a birthday month dance with my daughter Chloe who also celebrates a birthday in October.

My birthday week is also special.  I bring up the fact that its my birthday week constantly and there is usually a comment regarding how many days until my birthday.  I just love to celebrate it.

This year for my birthday I sent an email blast out at midnight announcing my birthday to friends, family, and followers.  I am following up that now with giving out FREE MONEY!

I AM NOT JOKING.

In 2010 we stumbled across a new company called Ebates.  They pay us to shop online.  Since 2010 we have earned almost $800 in cash.  Its easy.  They have a Google Chrome link that tells us when we are shopping on a site that offers cash back.  We click on the Ebates button near the address bar and activate our Ebates account.  We then finish the transaction like usual.  Every quarter a check comes in the mail like magic money.

So what I am giving away is like money in the bank every quarter.  From now until December 31 they are paying out bonus referral money.  Click on this link to sign up for Ebates and I will also get referral money for telling you about it. 

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=qn3%2FLavxXbhLH6ce4jBc1w%3D%3D&eeid=26471

So Happy Birthday to me.  Free Money for you.

Enjoy.  Matthew

Shout Out for Adoption

I have always had this crazy idea about adoptive families that have gone before supporting adoptive families that are coming behind them, but I have never really been able to articulate it or figure out a fun way get the word out. Until now.

I don't know what will come of this (if anything) but after a Facebook friend of mine yesterday shared a picture of her and her kids wearing their adoption t-shirts it struck me.  Adoption t-shirts are something almost every adoptive family has, because at some point they either used it as a fundraiser or supported another family that was selling t-shirts.  We are crazy like that!  Combine that with the recent ice bucket challenge and it got me thinking.

#ShoutOutForAdoption

Here how it works.  Each adoptive family that has a t-shirt, put it on and take a picture of yourself wearing it.  Then share that picture on social media with a message to other adoptive families challenging them to do the same.  You can copy and paste this message if it helps:

I am taking the #ShoutOutForAdoption challenge.  I donated $50 to the adoptive family of my choice:  I chose (insert name of adoptive family).  I challenge (pick and tag three adoptive friends) to grab their camera and take a picture of yourself in one of your adoption t-shirts, share it on social media, and Shout Out For Adoption.  Find out more at: http://vandermeer-fam.blogspot.com/2014/10/shout-out-for-adoption.html

I will get things started and we will see if it goes anywhere or just fizzles out.

God Bless.

We don't want more kids

I was praying this morning knowing that today is the day we are announcing our newest fundraiser.  I prayed that I was able to help people understand why we are asking for their help, and it occurred to me that we needed to share an awful truth.  We don't want more kids!!

Now don't misunderstand me.  We love our children and we are excited to be adopted again, but it was the last thing we wanted.  We wanted to settle in to our little routine and live comfortably, make enough money to pay the bills, struggle occasionally (probably because of an unwise decision on our end), and raise the kids we have.  We wanted a pool, and chickens, we wanted everyone to have their own bedroom and to have a master bathroom.  The problem is, that was what we wanted it wasn't what God wanted for us.  And that was a reality that we had to face, look square in the eye and say, "Really?".

Before I get off on a tangent about choosing what God wants over what we want, I will stop myself and stay on task.  So many times when people hear about adoption fundraisers the mentality is, "Why would I help them grow their family? Its their choice, they should have to deal with the costs."  So I want to be clear, this is NOT our choice.  While we are happy to be following God's will, we did not choose this adoption.  Since we have been called to this, we are going to give it our all.

So that is why we are fundraising, because we don't want more kids.  But God wants more kids for us and the one thing our family wants more than chickens, or a pool, or even a master bathroom is to do what God wants our family to do.  We want our children to soar with wings that only God can give them.  The only way to encourage this is to show it, to let them know that living outside our comfort level and to seek after God's will is important to us and should be important to them.

So if you don't want to support our fundraiser, that's fine. But if you want to be a part of helping our family reach beyond what is humanly possible, then we hope you come along side us.  Because on the other side of the impossible is a child or two that needs a family.  A family that will encourage it to soar on wings not our own.



For more details on our latest fundraiser go to: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/bowling-benefit-wheatfield-lanes-tickets-13328601205

Long Way Home

Many of you know that we are in the process of adoption...Again. And I couldn't be more excited! I heard this song "Long Way Home" by Steven Curtis Chapman on YouTube, and it describes our long and hard journey through life on our way to Heaven. But as I it here, and see a bunch of adoption paperwork sitting on the desk, I can't help but think that this describes the adoption process in a way. There are mountains to climb, and valleys to go through. But in the end, it's a wonderful (not to mention lengthy) journey, where the destination is bringing a child in need into your family, hence the word "home".

I set out on a great adventure
The day my Father started leading me home
He said there's gonna be some mountains to climb
And some valleys we're gonna go through

But I had no way of knowing
Just how hard this journey could be
Cause the valleys are deeper
And the mountains are steeper than I ever would have dreamed

But I know we're gonna make it
And I know we're gonna get there soon
And I know sometimes it feels like we're going the wrong way
But its just the long way home

I got some rocks in my shoes
Fears I wish I could lose
That make the mountains so hard to climb
And my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes

There's a bag of regrets,
My should've beens, and not yets
I keep on dragging around
And I can hardly wait for the day I get to lay them all down

I know that day is coming
I know its gonna be here soon
And I won't turn back even if the whole world says I'm going the wrong way
Cause its just the long way home

When we can't take another step
The Father will pick us up and carry us in His arms
And even on the best days, He says to remember we're not home yet
So don't get too comfortable
Cause really all we are is just pilgrims passing through

Well, I know we're gonna make it
And I know we're gonna get there soon
So I keep on singing and believing
What all of my songs say

Cause our God has made a promise
And I know that everything He says is true
And I know wherever we go
He will never leave us
Cause He's gonna lead us home

Every single step of the long way home
(Keep going, we're gonna make it)
(I know, we're gonna make it)
(We're just taking the long way home)
(Keep going, we're gonna make it)
(I know, we're gonna make it)
(We're just taking the long way home)
(Keep going, we're gonna make it)
(I know, we're gonna make it)
(We're just taking the long way home)
(Keep going, we're gonna make it)
(I know, we're gonna make it)
It's just a long way home

-Abby 

Referral Alert

If we got a referral today, would you want to know?

One of the most exciting times for an adoptive family is getting a referral of their child, we would love to share with you when we do, but we won't be able to share details on Facebook or the internet in general.  If you want up to date information, you need to subscribe to our mailing list.  Sign up below.

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Understand your Brand

One trend you see on social network groups like LinkedIn lately is a trend of understanding your personal brand.  Knowing what it is that makes you tick, what things you most enjoy doing and what skills you bring to the table that you really excel at.  The trick to understanding your personal brand is knowing where these items collide.  This post is to explain my brand to those that don't know me.  Not because I am looking to market my brand, but because it will help anyone that ever wonders what it is that I do, understand me a little better.  People have asked my wife before what I do and she usually references Chandler Bing from the TV show Friends.  Chandler leaves for work and comes home, but no one really knows what he is doing the whole time.  So here is my chance to help anyone that has ever wondered, understand my brand.

A Numbers Guy

This is a phrase that people have used to describe me for quite some time.  When I was a car salesperson I would typically out maneuver people to win the monthly bonus, not because I was a better salesperson but because I understood the numbers behind the bonus board.  You didn't have to sell the most cars if you sold the right ones.  When I became a sales manager I learned to love ratios to track performance of my team.  Marketing to lead, leads to appointments, and appointment to sales ratios were tracked constantly to drive sales.   Knowing where the numbers should be for each lead type helped me to know where my team needed more focused training.  I seemed to be the only one surprised that accounting kept coming up as a good option for me when I took career profiles, I saw accounting a s a dull use of numbers.  Using them to track dollars and cents that have already been spent.

The Administrator

The second thing that makes up who I am is an administrator.  I learned about this gift as part of a church wide campaign to learn about our spiritual gifts.  I ranked so high in the administrator category that it drowned out some of my other gifts.  An administrator is someone that can see an organization, and understands how the different processes of an organization work together to make a cohesive unit.  Its a keen understanding of how things work in a business environment. I have always known I had this gift, but I didn't realize that everyone else was not as able to do this as I was.  Right now at work when there is a new process that needs to be implemented, it is brought to me (if not brought up by me) because I understand how the different pieces work together.  If fact where I work currently I have, over the past 5 years, redesigned the way organization and information flow in our business.  In order to collect and analyse the numbers that are derived from business.

Lover of Small Business

This is one that not everyone would know about me.  I absolutely love working in small business.  The things I love about it are the ability to give input that directly can be implemented and start making a difference.  Things are changing all the time so processes need to be tweaked and adjusted to account for the change.  It keeps the creative part of my brain happy.  Doing the same thing over and over again would cause monotony and make me go crazy.  Some people love that kind of monotony, I am not one of them.  There are downfalls to small business.  I could probably earn more at a larger company, and the benefits might be better.  But there is something to be said for working 5 minutes from home, at a job you love, in an industry that is changing.

Finding the Sweet Spot

So now that you know some of the parts that make up who I am, how does that relate to my personal brand.  My personal brand is in what I call the sweet spot.  Finding the place in which all three things that make me, well me, intersect.  Here is a visual for those that need it:

There are many people who are numbers guys, many administrators, and many people that love small business.  The sweet spot is where all three of these things combine to give me the unique combination that I have.  When I went back to school to get my MBA, I realized there was a kind of accountant that is called a managerial accountant.  The difference between a CPA (which is what most people think of when they hear accountant) and a managerial accountant is huge.  Here is a basic analogy, a CPA is a bean counter, they let you know precisely how many beans you have at what time.  A managerial accountant helps a business, understand how their beans are being spent and how to create more beans.  Both are important, but both bring different skills to the table.  Big companies have both.  Small businesses have neither.  They have a CPA they count on to help with their taxes, but most do not typically a employ a managerial accountant.  They likely either don't understand the difference, or can't afford to employ one.

My Brand

So here is my brand.  I am a managerial accountant, that is fortunate enough to have found a small business owner with multiple business that allows me to use my administrative skills to develop processes inside these businesses.  Process that feeds data to the numbers guy, so he can track business efficiency, measure profitability and give back reports to the administrator to recommend improvements or changes.  In a company small enough to be able to implement these changes if management agrees the change is necessary. 

I hope you enjoyed reading about and learning about me.  Each one of us have been given a unique combination of skills, gifts, and experiences that make us who we are.  We each have our own brand.  If you don't yet know your brand I would recommend that you work through a process like this one and help understand who God made you to be.  When you find out who that is, find your way to the sweet spot and enjoy using the gifts, it makes the giver happy to see you using them.

Follow our Adoption

This post is here so we have a link to share for people that want to follow us on our journey.

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Adoption Fundraiser: How do Colt's tickets sound?

Fundraising Kickoff

In order to start this adoption process we need a bit of a jump start on the funds.  We have been blessed with a friend who was willing to donate some Colts tickets to be raffled off.  Proceeds will go towards the costs of our application fees, home study, and agency fees

Game Info

The game in question is Saturday, August 23rd at 8:00 PM EST.  It is a pre-season game against the New Orleans Saints.  While this is a pre-season game, these aren't just any seats.  These are 4 Club Seats, Section 342, Row 2.  This pictures give you an idea of your view.  In case your wondering, yes this is the Colts sideline, and yes those are padded seats.  To read more about Club seating, click HERE.  It's pretty sweet!  By the way if you only have two people that can go, I can think of a couple that would love to join.

How do I enter?

There are three easy ways to enter to win these great tickets.

1. Donate

You knew that was coming.  You can donate easily and quickly online.  We have set up a Go Fund Me account to make it easy to donate.  You can click on the link at the bottom of this section to go there.

http://www.gofundme.com/c7v30k

For every $10 donated you will get one entry into the raffle, the more you donate, the more entries you get, and the better your chances at scoring these sweet tickets.  Make sure when you donate you leave contact info so we know how to contact you if you win.

2. Share


In this social networked world, we want to get the word out.  So after you've donated share this with everyone you can think of.  We are sending this through a site that will let us know how many times it was shared and by who.  Forward the email, share us on Facebook or Twitter.  For each share you get an additional entry.

3. Sign up for our Adoption Updates

On our blog posting that announces our adoption we had a spot for you to sign up to receive our emails. You can access that blog HERE.  If you don't really want the updates then at least sign in until we announce the winner.  It makes it much easier for us to track you down if you win.  You can always unsubscribe if you don't want to hear from us after the contest ends.

Final Details

This contest is time sensitive.  The raffle will begins now and will continue until August 15th at midnight.  The winner will be announced sometime on the 16th.  Because we are asking people to share it with others, its very possible that we don't know the winners.  So please if you don't know us list your information somehow for us to find it.  We want to make sure we get the tickets in the winners hands.  If you would like to donate and are not interested in the tickets also lets us know so that we can make sure they go to someone who really wants them.


God Bless.

Let the Cat out of the Bag

Anyone that has talked to us lately knows we have been talking about adopting again.  It has been a subject that has been on our radar for a while.  Earlier this month we were talking to some adoptive friends of ours and they were feeling the same tug on their hearts.  They mentioned that they were praying through the month of July to see if now was the time that the Lord wanted them to start.  We loved this idea and decided to join them in praying through July for the Lord to put on our hearts what his plan was in this.

As we approach the end of July we both feel strongly that the Lord wants us to move forward with adopting again, but we still weren't sure on the time frame.  We are going through a series at church called Man on Fire, it is about Moses and his journey of faith and how God used him.  This series has really hit home for us because so often we are just like the Israelites, we moan for meat after God provides us with daily bread, we know God promised to go before us into the promised land but we are scared because there are giants.  We forget everything the Lord has done for us and forget to trust Him in the future.  We take the things that we think will keep us safe and make idols out of them, work, money, savings, security.  Lastly we put limits on God, we make deals as if God is withholding His blessing from us until we do something, when the fact is that He is the blessing and He is all we need.  Our job is to follow Him, to obey Him.

So we have decided to adopt.  We are still working out the details as far as when to file the paperwork and start our home study as our house is on the market still and there are some details still falling in place.  We had come to the conclusion we were going to adopt a week or so ago but something came up that is causing us to let the cat out of the bag a little earlier than we anticipated.  As you know adoption is an expensive venture, and by human standards we have no business adopting again.  However we also believe that what God calls us to he will also carry us through, which also means we need to be willing to work, and trim off any excess budget, and do what we don't want to do to (fundraising) in order to get there.

I know a number of people don't like other people fundraising for adoption, and if you are in that category please don't feel obligated to give.  But we also know that there are many that God have put in our lives that would be honored to help bring a child into a loving Christian home.  Fundraising is simple a tool that allows them to support whatever cause that God puts on their hearts.

What has caught us to let the cat out of the bag is our first fundraiser.  It is a time sensitive fundraiser and the sooner we can get it "kicked-off" the better.  You can read more about that soon as we get the details "tackled", but trust me.  You don't want to "pass" it up.

Due to the changes in Facebook and our inability to blog regularly, we have come up with an easy way to inform people that are interested in following our adoption through email.  Simply sign up in the link below and we will send out emails as things progress.  We will still blog from time to time, and probably post on Facebook.  But we will always send out the email first and we will also send out a lot more emails than any other method of communication.  We hope to use it for adoption updates, prayer request, and fundraiser announcements.  If you get sick of getting emails you can unsubscribe at any time.

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Are we going to adopt again?

This question has been bouncing around for some time now.  So I thought now would be a good time to answer this for everyone.  There are a lot of things to think about before adopting again that I think doing it once already we need to be aware of.  First of all adoption is HARD.  It starts with the paperwork, and the decision, and the waiting, and the travel, and the finances.  Then you get home.  You have a honeymoon period where everything is new and exciting, but that is when the work really begins.  That is when you start hitting the barriers.  Doctors appointments, therapy sessions, language barriers, behavioral barriers, no time to oneself, new child adjustments, current children adjustments, expectations, and on and on.

Adopting a child with special needs takes a special kind of patience.  We learned earlier on that our prayers needed to be focused on being the parents Chase needed to be, not having Chase be the child we wanted him to be.  With his hand deformity and shorter forearms things that we take for granted are a challenge.  Don't believe me? Try taking a short sleeve shirt off without your thumbs, only being able to bend your elbows to 90 degrees and not rotating your wrists (something Chase can't do because he is missing his radial bone in each arm).  Things that we take for granted are now things that we need to think about the way we do them and reinvent them in ways that we can teach him to do them.  Chase is very independent, which helps because he will rely on that to overcome a lot of extra challenges in this life.  But when trying to handle the daily routines of life with a three year old who wants to do it himself, but in many cases simply cannot or cannot yet, you can imagine it gets frustrating. 

So what does that have to do with adopting again?  Everything.  In order to adopt again we need to get some things figured out.  If we adopt again it would likely be from China and the special needs program.  This way Chase would have a sibling to share experiences with, to process things like racism, being different then the other kids, having a family that looks different then the other kids.  So then are we able to handle more than one child with special needs?  This would mean multiple doctors appointments, multiple therapy sessions, plus any specific needs that this new child would have.  Integrating additional kids into the family, the extra costs to feed one more mouth plus additional doctors appointments, etc etc...  

When we brought Chase home we drove a sedan, we quickly learned we needed a van.  We currently live in a three bedroom ranch, while we technically could fit more children into this house.  They need somewhere to go so mama and baba don't go crazy.  That means a bigger house or one with a basement.  Which will likely mean more house payments.  

I don't want this to sound like a whine session, but these are the kinds of things that go through our minds when we consider adopting again.  Those that have been there know it.  Those that haven't adopted don't understand all the complexities that go into adoption, especially special needs adoption.  So if you are on the outside looking in and all you see are the cute photos on Facebook, you may think adoption is all roses and sunshine I am here to tell you it. is. not.  

At the same time there are great rewards that come through adoption.  Chase can be a struggle at times, but he also gives the best hugs EVER.  He has the cutest smile and can be extremely easy going.  He is learning to play on his own and has a great imagination.  He is learning the family routine and we are all starting to settle in.  We have had a great summer so far and are looking froward to the rest of it.  The good days are starting to outnumber the bad days.  These are all good signs.

Now back to the original question.  Are we going to adopt again? The answer is a solid... Maybe.

We know adoption is a calling that God has put on our hearts.  We know that our obedience to that calling is a matter of faith a door that we have no problem stepping through.  There are things we need to figure out in order to bring another child home, not the least of which is the financial aspect.  Adopting again would required more fundraising which we are not looking forward to.  In fact we don't know if people would be as supportive since we have already adopted once.  I guess we will need to wait and see.  Right now we are waiting, our house is on the market and we have an accepted contingent offer on another house which is bigger and still within our price range.  So we are waiting and enjoying our summer, the Lord will let us know when the time is right.

Fathers Day and the Alpha Male

Amanda mentioned to me the other day how Chase is so completely different than the girls.  Other than the obvious ways you can all think of both of our girls were always fairly well behaved and would do pretty much what we asked of them.

But Chase is SO. MUCH. DIFFERENT.

Growing up with three brothers maybe I just didn't realize, or being a boy myself I just didn't care.  But boys are naughty when they are little.  While I understand pushing the envelope to see where the boundaries are, what I don't get is continually stepping over those boundaries on purpose over and over again without a care that the boundary is there.

At first I figured he just doesn't understand what we were saying so we just kept restating it.  However last night I tried a new technique.  When instructing him with what was going to happen next and what the punishment would be for not listening, I asked him to repeat it back to me.  Instead of his normal repeating, he did not approve of his options and decided to stare me down.  As if somehow his willful defiance would win my approval and I would submit to him this time.   Is was then I realized what he was really doing was challenging my authority as the alpha male.

Many pack animals have what they call the alpha male.  This is true for dogs, wolves, lions and apparently boys.  The alpha male is the leader, all other males in the pack follow the lead of the alpha male. Occasionally one of the other males in the pack will think they are strong enough to become the alpha, they challenge the alpha to a fight and the loser submits to the winner.

This is the reason you see mountain goats hitting heads, lions clawing, and deer tangling antlers.  Its the reason gators are missing parts of their tails, and the reason dogs jump on the backsides of other male dogs as well as that of young children.  They are showing dominance over the other male.  And it is the reason that Chase will stare me down in the bathroom and not open his mouth to brush his teeth.

While the consequences in the wild are more severe than in our house.  The idea is the same, if I can be more powerful than you, I will become the alpha male.  Knowing this, Fathers Day this year takes on a whole new meaning for me this year.

While Chase was home last Fathers Day, he was still very new to our home and probably more scared.  This year he knows the routine of the house, he knows what is expected, he knows he is part of a family.  His real personality is showing through.  This Fathers Day I keep thinking about how I not only need to continue to show him that I am the alpha male of the house, I also need to respect his willingness to challenge me so he can learn how to be the alpha male when the time is right in his life.

This idea leaves me with two final thoughts, first I feel bad for Amanda because she gets to deal with these battles far more often than I do.  Second I finally realized why the only punishment that was truly effective for my mom was, "Wait until your dad gets home."

Happy Fathers Day.

Once Upon A VanderMeer

Sometimes I think my life is like a big fairy tale. In the beginning God made a perfect paradise that he said was good.  Next, sin entered the world and man and woman were separated from him and the paradise was no longer perfect.  A couple years ago my parents thought we were done but no, God had a bigger plan! God sent a baby boy named Yuhuan into our family who took the new name Chase Micheal VanderMeer. Even though sin entered the world we can still do something about it. We can still show people there is a God.  And they lived happily ever after.  Or does God still have a bigger plan?

Why a New Blog?

Our family used to have a blog that we maintained while we were working through the adoption of our third child Chase.  This was a great way to keep in touch with friends and let them know what was going on in the adoption, we brought Chase home over a year ago and haven't blogged much.  

In fact we turned over the blog to our daughter Abigail who maintained it a little bit, but it was even hard for her because the adoption was over.

Occasionally Amanda or I would like to blog about something, but the blog was listed under Abby's name which wouldn't make sense.  The platform we blogged under only allowed for one author and wasn't real user-friendly.

So here we are with a new blog.  This time it can be about anything we want.

Eventually we will have four authors.  Matthew, Amanda, Abigail, and Chloe.

We will each be writing about whatever we want adoption, hairstyles, family fun, who knows.  But hopefully through it all you will see a family that is having fun, loving the Lord, and becoming the family He wants us to be.